Coming from the pain

When I feel like my heart is broken, but it's not, it holds sadness of disappointment waiting to be released,
When I feel betrayed by self claiming truth seekers, and it turns out, it was no accidental confusion, lies were masquerading again,
When I feel that I'm strong, that I can withstand winds of uncertainty, and it's just yesterday all over again,
When I feel impatient, and it's not time tricking me, these are lessons already learned, knocking on my door again,
When I feel that I know where I'm heading next, but all the roads covered in impenetrable heavy mysterious mist,
When I feel that I'm being demanding, searching for answers to replace fears and wild guesses, but get excuses instead,
When I feel the pain of relating my existence to the whole world, but find myself alone again, scraping self confidence from walls protecting my core,
When I feel...
I know where I'm coming from, I know that pain, I hold it, I let it stay for awhile, and then I let it go with a sigh of relief, making room in my soul for another long moment of hope, it's strength that comes from realizing self, it's every positive thing I am making my life to be, after all